Sunday, 16 February 2014

COOKING HINTS

In response to my last post, my good friends Betsy and Jax pointed out that I do have a few things that I can cook adequately so here is my receipt for soup. 

Get a MASSIVE pot, fill it with water to within a few inches of the top, throw in two random packets of soup mix, two packets of supermarket prepared soup vegetables, extra chopped onions and any other odd vegetables that might be lurking about, a couple of handfuls of dried peas, lentils and what have you, any leftovers from the fridge, (baked beans are good) a few dollops of tomato puree, Worcester sauce, and garlic paste and last, but not least, salt to taste.

Right, now you are ready to cook.  Boil until it overflows onto your immaculate, rarely used, cooker, turn down to a simmer for several hours.  Every now and then dredge the bottom of the pot with a wooden skillet, making sure that you carefully integrate the burnt bits into the mixture.  When you have reached your desired degree of doneness blitz with a mashing thingy until the soup is smooth and gloopy .  MummmMummm!

A leg of lamb is a little bit more involved and I won't bore you with the details, apart from to say that my chef grandson rang me up one day to say that he couldn't replicate my delicious mashed potatoes!  I gave him the receipt but I believe that he has never been able to achieve the same result.  I think he is just "thinking it through" too much.  That doesn't make for delicious cooking which should be done entirely by instinct.

But, I must say that my main "signature dish" is an absolute knockout, and so simple.  Take 2 pieces of soggy white bread, spread with mayo and add slices of spam and beetroot.  The very thought of it is making me dribble in anticipation.

Oh! and I have forgotten my wonderful rice pudding which is also very simple, but I'm afraid that if I told you how to make it I would have to kill you.

11 comments:

Cheryl harman said...

I'm saying nothing! X

Anonymous said...

So when are you publishing your cookbook?

Maggie May said...

I'm a similar sort of cook!
I now use the slow cooker a lot and all it needs is a small amount of preparation in the morning and it can be left all day and the contents smells and tastes really good!
Maggie x

Nuts in May

ADDY said...

Soggy bread, mayo, spam and beetroot? No, I'm not salivating, I'm afraid. x

Eddie Bluelights said...

I see you learn by experimentation!!! ROFL
I have news for you - the thing overflowed long before you hit the cooker's ignition switch for blast off!!
I think you should send this to Roxanne lol.

I am not very proficient in my culinary skills and my good cook bloggy pals think I too should write a cookbook incorporating various ways of decapitating a hard boiled egg and preparing baked beans on toast - all steeped in valuable British history. The yanks would love it. The foreword would be written by non other than Alfred The Great on how to burn cakes in one easy stage. ROFL
Fancy doing a combined effort?

www.retiredandcrazy.com said...

Well done Cheryl. You who loves sausages but won't eat spam!

www.retiredandcrazy.com said...

Moi, cook book? You must be kidding,

www.retiredandcrazy.com said...

Tried the slow cooker route Maggie, nah! not to me!!

www.retiredandcrazy.com said...

Addy, I come from the school of "life's too short to peel a mushroom"!

www.retiredandcrazy.com said...

You've got it Eddie. Experimentation is the way to go isn't it? And I must reluctantly admit that sometimes, when I'm in the mood, I can experiment myself into super cook mode. But not often!

Anonymous said...

The thing is you have to try the Spam Mayonaise and Beetroot Sandwiches made the correct way with fresh crusty bread,, absolutely lovely...Jax