Friday, 9 November 2012

HELP - I'M GOING NUTS HERE!

I have been trying to leave comments on some of my favourite blogs and have either encountered word verificators (is that a made up word?)  convinced that I'm am, indeed, a robot or, alternatively, I appear to be out of the "circle of friends".  What's going on?  Did the world go mad in my few weeks blogging sabatical? Are the Mayan loonies correct in saying that the world going to end on 22nd December?  HELP!

Just in case it is, let's have a laugh.  This was sent to me by a good friend. 

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.



8 comments:

Suldog said...

My fave...

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Thanks for the good smiles.

Grit said...

oh, some of those are very, very good. i shall pinch them without shame! thank you for sharing them!

Gone Back South said...

Re. your other post, about not writing anything for 2 months, well I didn't write anything for nearly 2 YEARS! Well I did, it just wasn't on my old favourite Gone Back South blog. And I also was originally inspired to start by Wife in the North ... seems such a long time time ago now. GBS x

Retiredandcrazy said...

Yes, that's a great one isn't it Suldog. PS why Suldog? What;s the story?

Retiredandcrazy said...

Be my guest grit. As you already know, they are not original to me anyway!

Retiredandcrazy said...

Wife in the North appears to have been the inspiration for so many bloggers doesn't she GBS? She is a great discriptive writer. We all love you WIN.

SueAnn Lommler said...

Those are all terrific!!
I like..."respect you elders. The trick is to find some."
Ha
Hugs
SueAnn

Retiredandcrazy said...

I know SueAnn, I'm getting to be as old as it gets now!