From time to time I have mentioned some of the famous people that I have met over the years to my two great granddaughters only to be met with blank faces. It then became a challenge. Surely I must have met someone that would impress them.
"I was once introduced to the Prince Andrew, Duke of York and spent an hour in his company" Nothing!
"I am friends with Gilson Lavis, the drummer with Jools Holland" "So what, we know him too!"
"I worked with a guy who was suspected of helping the Great Train Robbers" "The Great who?"
"I went to school with Bill Wyman from the Rolling Stones" (This is stretching the truth, he went to the boy's school, I went to the girl's and never the twain shall meet). "What's a Rolling Stone?".
" I tricked Rick Wakeman (a rock legend) and Francesco Da Mosto (a devastatingly handsome aristocratic Venetian architect) to propose marriage to me IN WRITING at book signings." "Never heard of them".
"One of my friends was in San Francisco in the "summer of love" with her rock star husband Keith Relf from the Yardbirds. She knows Eric Clapton." "Summer of love? What do you mean?" (Better not go there!)
"My TV Producer friend got your mother a bit part in a TV series featuring Julian Clary." "Did she get paid?"
"Tom Jones laughed at me when I drove past him, recognised him and involuntarily slammed on my brakes." "Lucky you didn't cause an accident".
But last night I believe that I finally cracked it. On TV, Tulisa, one of the X-Factor judges, happened to mention that her father and uncle used to sing with Mungo Jerry. I knew Ray Dorset from Mungo Jerry because he used to drink in my local pub. I texted that information to my granddaughter and she texted back "They're impressed!".
Bob Hope - "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."
10 hours ago