Saturday, 8 October 2011

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

 10 Life is sexually transmitted.

 9  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 8  Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make  him a sandwich

 7  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

 6  Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

 5   Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

 4  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

 3  Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

 2  In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. (Amen to that one!)

...........and the number 1 thought    -     Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers - what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

- - - and as someone recently said to me:  " Don 't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."

And on to more serious stuff.  Next Tuesday, 11th October, I am being interviewed for a 2 page spread with pictures in a woman magazine.  My 15 minutes of fame (again!!).  Wish me luck that I don't make an ass of myself.

13 comments:

ADDY said...

Wow. You are becoming a celeb! Good luck with the interview.

Maggie May said...

You are getting famous!

Where do you get the jokes from! Had a good chuckle.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

CatLady said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Glenda said...

Those are so funny - I was chuckling out loud when I read the hungry man one. So true.

DogLover said...

Great list, though I didn't understand No 8 ...

I hope someone will buy me Woman's Weekly because curiosity isn't one of my emotions!

Retiredandcrazy said...

Thanks Addy, but a celeb? Nah! More like an idiot.

Retiredandcrazy said...

That joke was sent to me by a friend Maggie. It made me laugh too.

Retiredandcrazy said...

I love that one too Glenda.

Retiredandcrazy said...

You may not understand DogLover, but I notice that you have been losing weight lately!

TechnoBabe said...

I didn't know you are a famous lady; I just like your blog.

Mare Freeborn said...

Good luck & can't wait to read the article. You will post a link, won't you? Loved the jokes!

Retiredandcrazy said...

Me, famous? I don't think so TB.

Retiredandcrazy said...

Yes, of course I will post a link Mare. The way that these things normally work is that they do the interview and then slot it in on a "no news" week. So don't hold your breath for it!