Saturday, 22 October 2011

SO YESTERDAY WAS NOT THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT - DRAT!

The Californian evangelical preacher got it wrong again because I'm still here.  That leads me to three conclusions - either the preacher got the date wrong (again), the bible is wrong and there will be no day of judgement or the preacher was right, the bible was right and I'm not righteous! 

I'm putting my money on the preacher being wrong and, as my satnav would say, he should re-calculate, re-calculate, re-calculate.

I'm now driving my sister-in-law up to Scotland to visit my other sister/brother-in-law. As Lt. Gen. Douglas MacArthur once said "I shall return". In the meantime, something to ponder on.

Thoughts of a Retiree's Wandering Mind:

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it .


I had amnesia once---or twice.


I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?


Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.


All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.


If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.


What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?


They told me I was gullible and I believed them.


Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the motorway.


Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.


One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.


My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.


I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.


How can there be self-help "groups"?


If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?


Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.


Is it me --or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?


I sent this to someone but don't remember who. So if you get it twice - - consider yourself doubly blessed !!

11 comments:

Maggie May said...

So Preacher was wrong again! I wonder if anyone was surprised?

Good to have a smile at some funnies on a cold and almost frosty morning!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

ADDY said...

Yep, I'm still here too. Why don't these preachers ever get the message? Loved the jokes.... I'm sending them on to friends and family!

Mr. Nighttime said...

The only rapture I had yesterday was the good laugh I had with a group of friends that came over for dinner.

Mr. Nighttime said...

...oh, I'm sorry, I meant "rupture," not "rapture." I busted a gut laughing...

Eddie Bluelights said...

It is impossible to put an actual date on prophecy and these preachers should stop doing it!! I have no doubt at all that The Rapture of The Church and Second Coming will come, and soon, but it is impossible to calculate the dates. Jesus in His humanity did not know the date of his return, only God.

Loved the funny sayings especially this one LOL

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

See you soon ~ Eddie

Jay at The Depp Effect said...

1, 6 and 9 .. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Thanks for those. I needed a laugh!

Retiredandcrazy said...

Cold and frosty morning? That was last week Maggie, it's now fine and warm again. Isn't the weather crazy?

Retiredandcrazy said...

The point is Addy that he thought he had got the message!

Retiredandcrazy said...

That's the best sort of rapture MrN. But I'll ask no questions!!!!

Retiredandcrazy said...

Well you know preachers Eddie, always did think that they were one ahead of us mere mortals.

Retiredandcrazy said...

They were funny weren't they Jay? How do they think them up?