Sunday, 7 August 2011

"FEET UNDER THE TABLE" AGAIN!

It's taken me a few days, but I'm beginning to feel like I'm back in control of things at last. By "things" I mean my paperwork, correspondence and commitments, but NOT, unfortunately, my life!

For the "out of control" moments I rely heavily on the Serenity Prayer.

God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have repeated this little prayer almost daily since I first heard it at an Al-anon meeting way back on 6th November 1974. It was a life saver then and, "just for today", it's even more of a life saver now. Unfortunately this philosophy can be misconstrued as stoicism but far from being stoic it's subtly positive. However, I am aware that it might sometimes appear that I'm weak, tough, callous or even just plain stupid, but anyone that knows or cares about me know this is simply not true.

There are rare occasions when someone will penetrate my defences and not be fooled by my apparent acceptance of the unacceptable. This happened a couple of days ago when I had a 'phone conversation with an old friend who has known me for 40 years. He heard something in my voice that worried him enough to 'phone back. He probed and managed to get me to talk. Like many others he wanted to help but I told him that I fear it would lead to more problems than I feel capable of dealing with right now.

But we don't want to dwell of that do we? It is good to be back with my family, friends and colleagues. Yesterday I took my two great-granddaughters out to lunch and then on to a show. We had such a great time. Money can't buy days like that and today I'm going out to lunch at The George in Stamford with my daughter Kimberley and her husband. I am so grateful and fortunate in the family, friends and colleagues I have.

11 comments:

TechnoBabe said...

What a great friend to hear beyond words and call you back to lend you an ear. Glad you are getting the must-do stuff taken care of so that you can deal with things.

Retiredandcrazy said...

Yes, a friend indeed.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Yes, friends are so important in our lives and can often trigger off thoughts we would otherwise banished under the carpet. But it's good talk, get things out in the open. A trouble shared...

CJ xx

Alcoholic Daze (ADDY) said...

Sorry to hear you were a bit down. Grief knocks us sideways when we least expect it sometimes. Enjoy the George at Stamford (greg had a student job as a waiter there in the old days) - a grand old coaching inn.

SandyCarlson said...

I think it's a great prayer. A great one for teachers, too. I am glad you are enjoying your family.

kt said...

I think you traveled a little too far for too long. You sounded a little down.

Relax and enjoy your family and know that you have friends out here in bloggersville.

kt

Retiredandcrazy said...

I totally agree with ypu CJ. Where would we be without good friends.

Retiredandcrazy said...

Fancy Greg having worked at The George Addy,but I shouldn't be surprised because he did come from Lincolnshire didn't he? It's one of my favourite watering holes.

Retiredandcrazy said...

This prayer meant so much to me from the first time I heard it Sandy. And the logic is so true.

Retiredandcrazy said...

Thank you for your kind words kt.

Maggie May said...

After all your wonderful adventures, it must be difficult to settle to a more boring life in England..... but it must be lovely to see family again, especially grandchildren.
Maggie X

Nuts in May