These observations were sent to me by a good friend. They would be funny if they weren 't so true!
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken Mc - Nuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.'
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies. Brunette, by the way!!
SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true... Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience
And last but not leasst, never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
The travel chaos at Heathrow Airport and St. Pancras Station in London this week has been unbelievably inhuman. Thousands of people stranded, sometimes for days, some waiting for hours outside in sub-zero temperatures, with no information, no comfort and no apparent concern. The British Airport Authority advised people not to turn up at an already overcrowded airport and travel companies told them that if they didn’t turn up they couldn’t claim an alternative flight or refund. There must be a better way of dealing with this type of emergency. For a start TREAT it as an emergency, not a corporate “cover our ass” exercise with conflicting advice.
I must again apologise for being a little naive, but this should not have been left to serendipity. There was plenty of warning of impending massive snow falls. Airport, train and tour companies should have acted as one. Travellers could be “filtered” by text offering rescheduled bookings.
Anyone that HAD to travel could state their case, go on a realistic priority rating waiting list and given a time to arrive at the airport/station to take their chances with any planes/trains available. You would think that in these days of superfast communication a system like that shouldn’t be beyond the wit of corporate idiots. No – strike that out. It probably is. They prefer to hide their heads in the sand and hope that it will go away.
If olny they would tell the truth. I was impressed by one woman from a hospital who admitted that despite all the warnings they had been totally unprepared and were now going “back to the drawing board” to rethink the whole thing. One of the solutions was to have a list of people that lived near enough to be on call, transport to get others in instead of individuals having to struggle in on their own and provisions for staff to stay overnight. The patients must come first. Bravo.
This is a photograph of Mummy Georgina, Daddy Dan, Orianne, Noah and Leyton before it got too windy to enjoy.
This is another photograph of Mummy Georgina and Leyton while the sun was still shining.
And this is a photograph of Leyton yesterday when he was still 0 years old, trying to eat sand. He decided that he actually quite liked it.
Poor Leyton was sick this morning. Not a good thing to happen on your birthday. His brother Noah had already been sick in the restaurant at breakfast although they seemed OK in themselves. Then the wind got stronger and it became quite cold so we retreated to our apartment for the day to watch endless replays of Sky News.
Sky News, now there is another pet hate of mine. How do they get away with running one or two major stories endlessly on a loop all day? Obviously today's story was all about the snow. Now there's anothr pet hate of mine, the way we fail to handle snow every year. I do understand that the falls have been exceptional here, but the fundementals of managing it are all wrong and it's not just down to "well we only get snow every no and then so it's not worth spending public money".
I watched an "official" on TV advising us not to buy winter tyres because - "they need to be stored in summer and not everyone has a garage" and "are expensive" and "you need to go to a garage and get the summer tyres replaced for winter tyres". Negative, negative, negative.
In Switzerland it is compulsory to either have all weather tyres or two sets of wheels, one for summer one for winter. Garages change these over for you free of charge and if you don't have storage facilities the garage will store them for you. It's so simple and it keeps the traffic moving.
Also, we lived up a mountain but the road was only closed 3 times in 30 years. They simply run a snow ploughs up and down the roads all the time. Gritting is absolutely useless in heavy snow.
When are we ever going to learn? We are the laughing stock of Europe. Get a grip Britian and sort things out. We can't afford NOT to solve this problem. It's costing more in lost business than any small investment it would take to stop this madness.
During the year I have been wondering what to do this Christmas, the 1st anniversary of Davy's death. Should I stay home and tough it out, or leave that for another year?. In the autumn I had a devastating shock and impetuously decided "to hell with it, I'll leaving toughing it out for another year".
So at 0400 last Friday morning, in the company of my granddaughter, her husband, my two great-grandaughters and two great-grandsons, we headed out for Fuerturventura where the sun always shines, leaving behind a freezing and gridlocked UK and we won't be home until the 27th.
Christmas in the sun isn't quite the same, but none of us relished the thought of this impending anniversary at home. Will it make us feel better? Of course not, it's simply a "geographical", but the pain of staying at home was even more unbearable.
And looking at Sky News I think that we have made the right decision, but will it ease up long enough to get back home again? This is the question.
One thing that this year has bought is the realisation that Davy and I made wonderful friendships. They have stayed close and watched over me. Without their love and the love and support of my family, life would have been much, much harder. I am so blessed.
At the end of November I received a reminder that the TV Licence was due for renewal and that the payment would be taken by Direct Debit. OK. Problem. The TV Licence was in Davy's name and the bank they would be trying to take the Direct Debit from had been closed.
You would think that this would easy to recitify. One 'phone call links me to an automated system with 6 selections all with 6 additional lists option. Several minutes later I finally get me through to "an adviser" who "advised" me that it was too difficult to change this. The best plan was to apply for a new licence in my name when the licence expires.
1st December, exiry day, I go through the same routine. Name changed, OK, new direct debit form will be sent out. Brilliant.
Yesterday (14th December) I realise that I haven't had the new direct debit form. Coincidentally I also receive a voice mail advising me that the direct debit had been cancelled, asking if I wanted to set it up again?
So..onto the 'phone again, through the same routine to be eventually connected to "an adviser" who would not listen to my sad tale of woe and insisted that the licence WAS in my name and HAD been paid. I tried to explain that this was not possible and I had even received a voice mail tell me this. He said that it wasn't him that had 'phoned and that his computer told him a payment had been taken. I again explained that this was not possible because the account that the direct debit had been set up in was now closed.
We then went into a vortex, me saying my script, him endlessly repeating his. I ended up so stressed out that I shouted down the 'phone "the least you could do would be to say "sorry you have been troubled by this at this traumatic time in your life, I'll look into it and 'phone you back"". But this tough cookie told me that he had worked in this job for 15 years and he knew how things went. The licence, in my name, had been paid. So be it. Watch this space.
Where do they get these characters from and how can they hide for 15 years without getting the sack?
Take a look at this. It was sent to me by grit and has restored my faith in the human race. I love marching bands, they make me well up inside. This had the same effect. Wonderful. Thanks grit. You made my day.
I went into meltdown yesterday. Everything seemed to overwhelm me and I couldn't even seem to make the most elementary decisions. I just wanted to crawl into a hole. Let the world pass me by for a few weeks. Get Christmas over. Wake up in the Spring.
I could tell that everyone was so concerned and absolutely paralised with fear and helplessness to know what to do for me. But there was nothing that could be done. It's a lonely place to be and they couldn't climb in with me.
Then my friend and colleague Tanya sent me this. It's so beautiful. With this she managed to reach into my heart to help be back out into the world again. I do have faith in a God and I must hand my will and my life over to him again. Thank you Tanya, you are a true, dear friend.