Thursday, 29 April 2010

IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A BIGGOT DO IT RIGHT

Please don't call me a biggot Mr Brown, I couldn't stand the thought of having you in my house for 40 minutes, grovelling like a sick pig and then appearing on my doorstep with that sickenening grin of yours to tell the world that I had forgiven you, but I think this is quite funny (and it's only a joke, honest!)

Last month a world-wide phone survey was conducted by the UN. In each country, the only question asked was:

"What is your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a failure because:

1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
6. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
7. In Australia they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

12 comments:

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Well, really - words almost completely failed me yesterday when I heard the news and I was infuriated when he smilingly told reporters that the lady in question had accepted his apology. She is a lady - he is no gentleman and wouldn't have got over my doorstep.

Loved the survey though RAC. A x

Anonymous said...

Bigot is spelt with one G!!!!!

Maggie May said...

That was a disgusting affair with the *bigot*.

I just watched the 3 of the leaders speaking in Birmingham. All GB did was bleat about the other two and didn't really say exactly what he intended to do.

Loved your survey.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

DogLover said...

Thank you for these two little diversions, though I don't know who this Mr Brown is and think I may have already heard of the Food Survey.

Such things keep our spirits up while the Western world contemplates another collapse once Germany decides to renege on its EU obligations and refuses to help bail out Greece and Portugal, Spain and Ireland who then default and drag everyone else down.

Retiredandcrazy said...

Isn't he one of the scariest men on this planet Anne?

Retiredandcrazy said...

Well anonymous, I would love to have been able to say that my mis-spelling was satirical humour, but I can't spell it.

Retiredandcrazy said...

Actually Maggie, I kept falling asleep. Is this old age, or are they all deadly boring? No, don't answer that.

Retiredandcrazy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Retiredandcrazy said...

Thank you for pointing out that little problem DogLover. I have been trying to take my mind off of the fact that the recession we are slowly climbing out of could be a mere blip complared to what could be about to happen.

RNSANE said...

I would laugh at your post if it weren't so horribly true.

Jay said...

"I couldn't stand the thought of having you in my house for 40 minutes, grovelling like a sick pig and then appearing on my doorstep with that sickenening grin of yours to tell the world that I had forgiven you"

EXACTLY!! LOL! I thought exactly the same when I heard that nauseating little speech he gave with that - yep, sickening grin. I tell you, I felt my face curl into a grimace of disgust and disbelief.

Eddie Bluelights said...

I don't think we will have to worry about Mr Brown after Thursday. The modern day Mark Anthony had probably already made his speech!!

The 'bigott' lady looked furious even at the end of the grovelling.
And who told Mr Brown to smile like that? It looks as though he has permanent wind!!!