Please don't call me a biggot Mr Brown, I couldn't stand the thought of having you in my house for 40 minutes, grovelling like a sick pig and then appearing on my doorstep with that sickenening grin of yours to tell the world that I had forgiven you, but I think this is quite funny (and it's only a joke, honest!)
Last month a world-wide phone survey was conducted by the UN. In each country, the only question asked was:
"What is your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a failure because:
1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
6. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
7. In Australia they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
TREE BENCH FINISHED AND LOVINGLY WRAPPED ROUND THE OLD CEDAR TREE - Today is Wednesday, our usual gardening day at The Rectory, but it is rather an unusual day. A few months ago whilst supping our coffee on an old scaffold...
5 hours ago