Monday, 22 March 2010

BOYS CAN WEAR PINK, CAN'T THEY?

I love this, and how true it is!

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby : You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette :
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Dummy:
1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Nappies:
1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:
1st baby : You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins:
1st child: You rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: You carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: You deduct it from his pocket money.

GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to live!

12 comments:

Fran said...

It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud these days, but this did. Perfect, perfect. Sending it to all the mums I know.

Maggie May said...

Oh I love this.
I stopped at two.... but I see what you mean. More casual as the time goes on.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Dusty Spider said...

This made me smile. Wisdom is a wonderful thing.

It made me sad to read about the passing of Davy. My thoughts, though belated, are with you. xxx

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

This is good for a good laugh RAC. I particularly liked number 3 of "swallowing coins". A x

aims said...

So funny! Thanks girl!

Alcoholic Daze (ADDY) said...

Loved this. I am sure it is so true.

Grit said...

very nice. i think there was a mix of all of that with three at once!

Retiredandcrazy said...

Thanks Fran, I get sent some great stuff at times, but that one just rang all my bells and I had to share it.

Retiredandcrazy said...

There speaks a mother Maggie!

Retiredandcrazy said...

Yes, I like swallowing coins too Anne. Bought back memories!

Retiredandcrazy said...

Well, we have to look on the light side sometimes don't we aims?

Jay said...

Hahahaha! Some of those ring so true .. even if I did only have two! LOL!