My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his fuc*ing forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
And finally ..... there are two theories to arguing with a woman - neither one works.
Jackie Mason - "Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
19 hours ago