My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his fuc*ing forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
And finally ..... there are two theories to arguing with a woman - neither one works.
Mark Twain - "In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language."
1 day ago