Sunday, 31 May 2009

THE JOYS OF SAT-NAV

It doesn’t seem like a week ago that we went to the Chelsea Flower Show, the start of that quintessentially English happening known as “The Season”. And we did it in style, with “hospitality” of coffee and pastries on arrival, a three-course lunch with fine wine, afternoon tea and copious amounts of champagne, Pimms, coffee and what-have-you throughout the day.

Not for us the trauma of having to queue for the loo and a cup of tea. Oh no, we had our own private loos and waitress service in our little haven of tranquillity. Occasionally we even ventured out into the mob to marvel at the gardens and plants. That’s the way to do it. Next year I want to “do” hospitality at Henley, another event in “The Season”. Well I can dream can’t I?

Back to earth again saw me a few days later enjoying the eccentricities of a sat-nav that had directed sporty grandson-in-law and me (the driver) into a pedestrian precinct driving very slowly behind a blind man who was tap, tap, tapping his way along the middle of the road, totally unaware that we were impatiently following. You couldn’t make it up could you?

And something else that you couldn’t make up, (or wouldn’t want to!) is that one of the very ordinary village schools where sporty grandson-in-law works as a coach has to employ a very unordinary professional restrainer because some of the children are so disruptive. What on earth is happening to us? No, don’t get me started again.

So - Gordon Brown wants MPs to agree to a legally binding code of conduct as part of a plan to "clean-up" Parliament. Clean up Parliament? Ha, bloody, ha. Like he didn't create, condone and cause the problem in the first place!

And finally … the original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

8 comments:

Maggie May said...

So how did you get your own loos etc at the Chelsea Flower Show? Did you take a potty? LOL.

Bit late now for the MPs to try & change the binding code of conduct. Damage already done.
I had to laugh at the cheek of one of them even claiming his £5 Church donation. Said it was a mistake. Oh yes....

Sat Navs are fun to use, but not if you are following a blind man.
Fun post!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I would so love to have my own private loo at a function or event! It's one of the things that stops me from going to concerts and things like that.

CJ xx

GoneBackSouth said...

I think the patient but firm voice on the Sat Nav when you've gone wrong is quite funny: "turn around where possible", she calmly instructs. I keep expecting her to start getting irritated and say things like "don't park there, you idiot", or "aren't you listening, I said SECOND left".
But she never does.

Grit said...

I like the sound of your lifestyle.

But a professional restrainer! that is a brilliant job description. is it for toddlers? or teenagers? actually, i could have done with one a couple of hours ago when there was an almighty fight in the front room over who gets to sit in the blue chair for last thursday's recorded edition of springwatch.

Retiredandcrazy said...

We didn't actually get an individual loo each Maggie, but our loos had a smaller clientele than the regular hoi polloi!

Retiredandcrazy said...

I think I failed to explain the loos situation adequately CJ, see as you and Maggie seem to think we had one each! Sorry.

Retiredandcrazy said...

I know GoneBackSouth, who are these reasonable people anyway!

Retiredandcrazy said...

I know grit, I could do with a professional restainer around here sometimes. And that's for OG!